Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well.

I wanna be mesmerizing too

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 10:36:30 GMT

Listening to this non-stop for the past week. I remembered listening to Guyville in Grade 12 but not really getting it to this extent. I appreciated the lyrics but couldn't understand why anyone would record anything so imperfect. But now, it is blowing my mind: how it cuts to the chase ("I want a boyfriend, I want all that stupid old shit, like letters and sodas"), how it reverses gender dynamics, how it understates insecurities by shouting them out and how she sings all this with this dead-pan, devil-may-care monotone voice.

I played "Fuck and Run" with my friend in the car and she was like: "Who is this?" and when I told her who it was, she was of course shocked. The Liz Phair she knows is the 2003 Lavigne-lite version with "Why Can't I". That's not to say her 2003 stuff was bad; yeah, it was mainstream, but I would've never discovered Guyville three years ago if it weren't for her 'selling-out' -- which, also, I think is unfair, since she wrote Guyville in 1993 when she was 26, and to expect someone 10 years later to write the same angst she felt in the twenties is completely unreasonable.

I hope she tours in Canada next year. Which reminds me, Jay Brannan in four days!

Getting Scared

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 23:59:07 GMT

Little late on the bandwagon, I know but --

I really did not like how realistic "500 Days of Summer" was. Especially during the split-screen scene, I felt almost sick to my stomach because who doesn't do that -- and who doesn't feel that it happens too often, too soon. I left the movie feeling like someone had confirmed the worst fears of reality to me. Also, Zooey Deschanel made me a closet breeder.

500 Days of Summer was amazing.

I'M STILL HERE AND ALIVE.

Fri, 29 May 2009 14:38:01 GMT

AND THIS MAKES IT ALL THE BETTER:

I LOVE THIS.

Confidence is a must; Edginess is a plus.

Fri, 08 May 2009 01:09:48 GMT

That's all.

Public Service Announcements

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 06:08:20 GMT

As I still mourn the loss of my glasses, some things continually cheer me up like:

1) THE FIERCENESS OF BRITNEY: especially in If U Seek Amy, where she not only gets a shot at Megyn Kelly of Fox News, but does her sweetest housewife persona complete with a pink Lacoste polo and humble American pie. Wait you say, isn't she a filthy BDSM whore in the beginning? WHAT AN AMAZING TWIST IN PLOT. Her performance for this at the concert was beyond bizarre, as well.

2) THE CUTENESS OF JAY BRANNAN: I am in LOVE with him so so much. Not only is he basically my personal hero -- I mean, he has some huge cojones doing this all by himself (he's the CEO of his own record label -- he's also talented and sweet and self-deprecating and UGH I want him now. Anyways he has a small skit in his new video and after watching it, you'll totally want to eat him and his cuteness up too.

Show me your favourite videos please. My exams don't start till April 16th, meaning basically I am free to fuck around the interwebz for two weeks. Sweeet.

Interrupting the usual emo crap for something important

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 23:35:43 GMT

When you rob students blind, mark up textbooks and readers over 30 dollars and have crap re-sell policies, this is what you get. Students are poor, or if they aren't, it's still galling to know that mandatory textbooks are selling for 8-10 dollars less than average at a retail store than a university-run bookstore. With three textbooks per course in a school year, that's around 300 dollars more out of our pockets than it should be. That's just for political science. For engineering and medical science students, textbooks can add up to a thousand dollars, on top of their actual tuition.

I've never actually photocopied textbooks, not out of principle, but out of laziness. I'd rather buy used textbooks on student-run exchanges than at the U of T bookstore. I don't recommend doing what is illegal -- I believe it's always best to be on the right side of the law -- but when such blatant highway robbery is being committed, it's hard for students to patronize the bookstore without this nagging feeling (in the wallet, particularly), especially when it means the difference between skipping meals, doing well in a class, or crawling back to the financial aid officer to up OSAP payments.

I personally don't know what can be done, and I've been fortunate so far that I can either afford the books or have a friend who I can borrow from. But more pressure needs to be put on these university-run bookstores; although we understand it's a business, they are also a business for poor, starving students and when even professors refuse to sell their course packs because they deem it to pricey, like how my English prof sold it out of his office instead, it's time for the student body to propose solutions or put pressure on the bookstore or the university administration to reconsider royalty fees, or subsidize the bookstore and such.

I don't think illegally photocopying textbooks is the answer though, even if in reality it saves money and symbolically it's a huge middle finger to the publishers/bookstores: it only drives textbook prices further up and the cycle of exploitation continues.

Now brb while I procrastinate from reading my textbook and instead, read my friends page.

Understandably copying is intellectual theft, however the price of new books is excessive and difficult to afford for many trying to obtain a better life through education. To add insult to injury I personally have purchased textbooks required for courses and throughout the term the instructor has never even openned the book once! I am not referring to inexpensive books, but $200 texts plus accompanying workbooks. I since have discovered that I could buy used current edition textbooks from the US amazon website for a fraction of the cost, and since have seldom purchased new books.

My biggest problem is with the new "editions" publishers put out every every year or so. These texts offer little or no new content but reorganize the text so that a student using an older edition cannot follow along. This eliminates buying/selling of used texts and forces students to buy the new edition each year. The publishers offer incentives to university professors to use the new editions each year. Add this to the fact that profs frequently list books they've authored themselves as "mandatory texts" - without actually using them in class, and think that students' ethics are not the ones that should be put into question.

I'm an engineering student who routinely purchases textbooks online. For example, this term I required an updated electronics text which my university's bookstore was sold for $190 tax. I was able to buy an international edition (exactly the same text) for $20 shipping! Some might think that I bought an illegally copied text over the internet. This is not the case. North American publishers routinely sell the same product to overseas students for a heavily reduced price. These publishers hide behind our copyright laws, so they can charge us a fortune. The problem will only be fixed when publishers start to charge a reasonable amount. Profits would increase because fewer students would be photocopying, buying online texts, and downloading e-books. I have no sympathy for Access Copyright, publishers, and bookstores. The government should be protecting us from this corporate greed.

Face Like a Mannequin.

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 22:00:59 GMT

So I've been listening to Circus non-stop throughout the week. I must reiterate that it's not as good as Blackout's endless string of awesomeness (Piece of Me, Radar, Toy Soldier, Hot as Ice, Ooh Ooh Baby). It's a shame that Circus's best songs are b-sides like Amnesia, Quicksand and of course, Trouble. But If U Seek Amy, Mannequin and Unusual You really make up for the rest of the weaker points in Circus (like Mmm Papi...or My Baby, oh dear).

I slept over at Jenn's place with Camille and Solomon on Friday night to study for stats, and instead of pouring over regression or correlation or ANOVA tables or the much beloved Chi-Square Tests, we gorged ourselves on ice cream, chocolate and regular chips and talked about Britney, Jenn's brother ("Felix, you are NOT HITTING ON MY BROTHER WHEN HE COMES HOME DRUNK!"), annoying best friends, anorexic friends and sex positions. Needless to say, despite being fun, I don't think we're ever going to have another study sleepover. Stats destroyed us three.

Oh well, guess who's going to see Britney on March 19th!!!

I'm like a firecracker, I'll make it hot.

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 06:19:02 GMT

So I bought Britney's new album, and although it's not as good as Blackout, it's still DYNAMITE. And my friend just forwarded me to her new (and full) video for CIRCUS, and she is most definitely on her A game again. She looks amazing with her platinum blonde hair at shoulder length and her dancing is slowly getting lubed up. And I love her crazy looks at the end of the song near the climax.

AND I'm buying tickets to her show tomorrow with Jenn for the March 18th show in Toronto! I hope I can get some/I'm so EXCITED. I've never been to her concerts before (gasp), but I'm finally old enough to have a credit card and do whatever the hell I want without guilt, and finally all the Britney hate is gone and I can go with friends now. I'm so damn excited.

One thing I'm worried is that she might crack again. I haven't watched the documentary but, dang, I heard she got deep sometimes and how it got kind of heart-wrenching to watch some scenes. And when I saw this, I couldn't help but feel as if she's just reading off some script, singing and dancing through orders and living a life she tried so desperately to discard just last year:

I mean, she looks amazing. But she seems so "I'm going to say this as fast as I can to get this over with and to not screw up". I don't know, I hope she's on her way to being comfortable in her own skin again.

"So guys, here's the lesson: don't have feelings for anyone. Anyone."

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 06:36:18 GMT

...is Jay's lesson to all of his fans when he was crying during one song he was singing because it was about his ex. And he was so genuine and funny and amazing. He sounded exactly like he does on record and I could not believe my ears. It was unreal.

And total!sex!photo!:

So the night started off with me meeting up with Christine, who has been my childhood friend since 4 years old. We went to El Mocambo, this intimate venue (perfect for stalking Jay of course!), and arrived half an hour early. We were about to walk out of the venue when we walked into a room and all of a sudden we hear "Let's put the t-shirts here...oh, I'm Jay by the way" to one of the backstage people. I facepalmed and we both ran out (I guess instead of acting like goofballs and running up to him and interfering) and bought sushi instead.

By the time the show started, the opening act, Ladies of the Canyon, were performing. They were pretty good and they had the most amazing introductions to their songs. One song was for her ex who dumped her, so she "slept with his cousin and my ex became bitter and better." Best revenge ever, ladies. Another song was dubbed their "stalker song", and I cheered since I'm the biggest Facebook stalker you'll ever know. By 10, the crowd was getting anxious and Jay walked out!

He did a really funny introduction about how "I wish I were pregnant ... at least it would mean I'm getting laid." And he made a lot of self-deprecating and cute remarks about how he wasn't getting any. Of course the crowd (including me) were like "I'M HERE!" and he just laughed and ordered that the disco ball be rolling during his songs.

He talked a lot in between his songs (he performed an amazing version of 'Soda Shop') and he was complaining about how it was such a pain to commute from Pearson Airport to downtown, to which the entire crowd moaned in agreement. Then he was joking about how he ended up in Baffin Island when he needed to get to University of Toronto, and how he was stuck in Yonge Street (he pronounced it in a fake French accent "Yonjje" and sighed 'Canadians!')

When I mean his voice was perfect, I mean it. He was pitch perfect. Eventually, I'm going to upload the videos of him I took and of the jokes he made. But the entire crowd was just blown away by his live singing. And when "Housewife" came on, the entire crowd screeched.

Another song that he sang was "Relax Your Neck", a homage to his two superpowers: to make someone have an orgasm at will, and his talent -- giving head. Here's the chorus to the song, which is pretty self-explanatory:

To be adept at oral sex
You must lose your gag reflex
If dick was poor, you'd be the projects
So just remember to relax your neck

I bought a "I wanna be a housewife" t-shirt, it's a bit tight on me, but I'm going to see how I can stretch it out. And I bought his CD which I got signed when I got to meet him! He's so nice and he takes turns and actually talks to every one of his fans. When I said how I'm converting all my friends to his music, he's like "Thanks, that must be hard!" and sigh, he's just so dreamy.

And here it is!!!!!

SO IN LOVE. (I look HORRIBLE, especially next to him, but whatever, it's my profile pic for Facebook, Myspace and whatever social networking is out there for the REST OF MY LIFE.

You make me wanna la-la.

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 09:45:15 GMT

I just wanted to say that I am off to the States (New York) for the weekend to go shopping. American Apparel outlet, here I come.

Wanted to reaffirm my confidence and support in ~~man~~ van Koeverden, who bounced back to Silver for today's competition. HELLSYES, what a stud. I was actually so emotionally invested in him I was feeling so depressed and sad yesterday when he came 8th with doomsday headlines like: "VAN KOEVERDAN DISAPPOINTS A NATION". STFU, He's perfect. And he's mine.

I shall be back Monday. Muah.

Oh no, the curse is happening. :-(

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:37:20 GMT

Okay, I know I've been harping about how plastic perfect Adam ~~man~~ van Koeverdan is, but it seems he isn't.

“I don’t know. I just didn’t have it. It’s a hell of a time not to have it,” the dejected athlete said following his competition Friday at the Beijing Olympics. “That’s the worst 1,000 [metres] I have put together in years. I was a spectator.”

Then he looked at the television camera recording the interview and addressed viewers. “I’m sorry,” he said, beads of sweat dripping from his face. “I’m really sorry.”

Van Koeverden had not just fallen short of the medal podium in the K-1 1000. He had fallen apart.

So, there is the curse that whoever is the flag-bearer of Canada always loses spectacularly at the Games. I was hoping it wouldn't happen with the perfection of van Koeverdan, but damn, apparently during the interview he was close to tears. My heart always breaks when I see disappointments like these: with that American hurdler who was in the lead than fell, with Liu Xiang and now this. Wow.

Let's hope he wins the K-500 event tomorrow, his specialty. If not, I'm going to be depressed for him. But if there is one good thing that came from this, it may be the puppy face shots they had of him after:

Yep, still (near) perfect. Prayin' ferr ya, buddy.

Do Olympic Groupies exist? Can they?

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:37:49 GMT

So my friend and I were discussing the Olympics and have decided that Adam van Koeverden is just too plastic perfect. Seriously, how good would you feel about yourself if you ended up in a relationship with a body like this, that's earned Olympic Gold medals (and hopefully one more tomorrow!) and is also a doctor? Nervous breakdown, totally.

But I was watching the Men's 200M event today when Jared Connaughton of P.E.I. came up, and I was like "OMGWHODAT?" So the broadcaster goes on about how Jared is such a talent, and how he's so determined and how even though he resides in Arlington, Texas now, he's still representing Canada.

So I looked him up, and he's also an alumnus of UTA. And there's even a UTA video of him training at their facilities. OMG, likespring, what if you've seen him around before?! Either way, you know what to do (it involves handcuffs and FedExing him to Canada.)

Loving the Olympics for all the wrong reasons.

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 02:37:28 GMT

The 31-year-old [Adam van Koeverden] is a genuinely nice guy, a medical doctor who hopes to work in trauma medicine. He joined Right To Play last year after learning about the athletes' humanitarian organization when van Koeverden splashed its logo all over the boat.

I know you, my lovely f-list, have already wished me happy birthday and thanks so much, but do you really, really, really, think we can pull off kidnapping him for my birthday?! I mean he's a damn doctor, so if we hurt him, no big deal.

When he’s not training in Florida, he resides in Oakville

Get on it, quinatorte! And I live like an hour away from Oakville. FATE.

I think he might be the entire package: Canadian, a doctor and a jock.

Wish I were a Conqueror, with flowers in my hair.

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 18:15:41 GMT

Our drought is over. And hearing the national anthem, which I haven't heard in a year, made me tear up just a bit.

It was especially sweet, not just because she broke such a long medal drought, or that she was Canadian, but she's just the best image of what modern Canada is about -- fully confident and established Canadians who can excel in anything, who came from the modest backgrounds of many immigrant families.

And our national anthem is just so beautiful. So peaceful, so quiet, not boisterous or war-like. So Canadian. I'm trying desperately to find a video of the medal ceremony.

"A hard road, too, one that was started by her parents, displaced Vietnamese refugees
whose move to Hazelton was sponsored by the local United Church.

"They've spoken about it a few times, but just little snippets," Huynh said of her parents' ordeal as boat people.

Born in China, Viem Hunyh moved to Vietnam, settling in Ho Chi Minh City with his wife Mai Trinh, who was originally from Vietnam.

"They had nothing (when her parents came to Canada)," Huynh said. Supporting five children, her father worked as a carpenter, did odd jobs, later landing a position at a sawmill. Huynh's mom waitressed.

Eventually, they opened a small hotel in Hazelton, the Bulkley Valley Motel, which they sold in May, moving into retirement.

"They worked so hard for us to have a better life," Huynh said. "I'm pretty sure I learned my work ethic from them."

We also won another wrestling bronze and a silver in rowing. It's so exciting to see Canada getting into the flow of things!

Silver Olympic Medalist, Dave Calder, looking victorious and daddy-ish. <3.

Then you realize, you've fallen off the edge again. You're a failure.

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 02:08:14 GMT

So what am I doing the night before my French exam? Blogging in English. Reading English. And not cramming 500 French words that I will never use ever in my life again to scrounge up a few measly marks, even though I really should because I am once again on that 79 mark cusp that will HAUNT me forever. Let's not mention this.

My eyes are not getting any better. It's now nearing two weeks and my eyes are still dry, fuzzes up all the time, and I'm having difficulty seeing; I'm leaning over to read something and my back hurts. My eyes are too dry for contacts but my glasses are too weak to adjust to my sight. What a shitty situation.

I also hate it when I complain. African kids are starving, monks are burning in Tibet, etc, etc.

Writer's Block: Six-Word Story

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 17:32:21 GMT

Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in only six words. His response? “For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” He is believed to have called it his greatest literary work ever. Can you write a story in six words?

Submitted By femspectre

View 505 Answers

"Desire filled nothing; he'd had enough."

Only Hemingway would've been able to write ~~that~~ what he did.

Spitfire

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 03:05:12 GMT

I went to the downtown campus today and holed myself up in the beautiful Gerstein Library and actually got all my studying done. That, however, did not mean I learned anything -- I got 67% on the online practice quiz. And shit, the exam's tomorrow.

My eyes are not getting any better, but they aren't getting any worse. I can't wear contacts and my glasses aren't strong enough so I'm so blind at the moment. I hope this doesn't interfere with my exam. And I hope my anthropology prof -- the one resembling Johnny Knoxville -- is back from his excavation in the Middle East all tanned and cocky. I need some sunshine in my life.

And I'm so torn over the Beijing Olympics. I'm proud to be Chinese, sure, but not exactly proud that my home city of Hong Kong still isn't being granted democracy despite being promised so during the British handover in 1997. Nor am I impressed with the legions of mainland Chinese that don't seem to remember all the horrible things that the current Communist regime has done and continues to do. The Tiananmen Square massacre happened in the same place the Olympics are now being held. Tibet was raped royally in the Spring. Darfur is worsening because of China's meddling. And the Chinese people expect us to be proud of what this regime has brought us? An opening ceremony certainly won't change my thoughts on Communist China. Or as The Globe and Mail put it: "China put on a hell of a show; It helped that democracy didn't get in the way."

Please, world, do not fall for China's charms. My homeland is still a cesspool of Orweillian surveillance, corruption, poverty and smog. The opening ceremonies, and the Beijing Olympics, are not the real China. That isn't even China.

But gotta love my preferred country Canada for good taste. Look at our flag-bearer, Adam Van Koeverden -- an immigrant like me now proud to be Canadian:

Err...better picture.

I wanna be your housewife, what's so wrong with that?

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 02:42:48 GMT

So Jay Brannan attendance is not official yet, but I hope to at least buy his CD and T-Shirt before the show (I know, bad fan, but it's not available in Canada). And I would like to make posters that say "JAY, I WANNA BE *YOUR* HOUSEWIFE" ~~and totally seduce him and get laid~~ and oh my god, I just realized it has been two full years since my first kiss (or around today, tomorrow or the day after) and the day of his show (9/19), it would be around two years since my last kiss. COINCIDENCE?! Perhaps Jay and I are meant to be.

I do not want to study for my exams. I am quite fucked for Anthropology.

Today I went to the optometrist, and I might have an eye infection. There was another asian gay boy of my age sitting across from me. He reminded me of me, and for some reason, I just wanted to get to know him and be his friend because I have no friends in real life that understand my insecurities and complexes. No one understands -- out of the 350 facebook friends that find me 'funny', 'amazing', 'friendly' -- that when I see some really attractive gay guys, I don't drool; sometimes I get insanely jealous of them and get insecure and self-destructive. I guess that's why I haven't gone to any Queer Pub nights or any gay socials at all. I can't handle being inferior (once more from elementary, high school...), even if it's in my mind.

SO HAPPY OMG.

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 02:22:39 GMT

So one of my favourite singers, the hot, gay, sweet, acoustic God that is Jay Brannan will be coming to Toronto on September 19th! I'm so excited to a) listen to his silky smooth voice live b) to shout out "I WANT TO BE YOUR HOUSEWIFE, JAY" or c) If I'm really lucky, take a picture and possibly molest him. I'm so FRICKIN' excited.

And I love him because he is so unabashedly gay. He doesn't give a shit if his voice is too high; he doesn't give a shit if his songs are about him wanting to be some guy's housewife and wanting to bear his babies; and he's too badass to not do a soft-core porn indie film called Shortbus. And after reading his biography, you have to give him props for striking out on his own and doing his own thing. So everyone, please. Buy his album and support him because he made his entire album out of his own savings. Do not force him to go back to Texas and re-join his Methodist family.

Guhh. Now I have to find any friend of mine who would actually join me on the 19th. I have no gay friends. Boo.

Edit:

What a cutie patootie. I'm in love with him.

Hey Nostradamus, I'm still waiting for an answer.

Sat, 02 Aug 2008 00:36:52 GMT

RIP - Tim McLean

How such a senseless attack -- sorry, a beheading -- could happen to anyone, much less someone so close to my age and in Manitoba out of all places, really makes me so full of sorrow (and as corny as that sounds, it's the only thing I feel when I hear this story over and over again in the media -- I can't help but feel defeated and incredulous). I mean, we all take Greyhounds to visit friends on other campuses, to go on trips, for some mindless fun, or work as Tim did. And to be attacked and beheaded in cold blood, to feel such pain as you cry for help, to be so helpless as someone just cuts you and for the entire bus to watch because they feel helpless and scared -- I don't feel as if any God exists right now. If He or She is here, I'm asking you: why, why, why.

Why did this poor kid have to die such a horrible death? Why do his parents have to live knowing that their son died in the most torturous way possible? Why does he have to join his murderer in the hall of infamy when he deserves to live an uninspired, normal and beautifully anonymous life? Why did you waste 22 years on someone just to have him be gone like this?

Why does my sister's boyfriend's mother nearly die last night? Why is my neighbour nearly paralyzed in the hospital as his son (at my campus) have to tend to him, forsaking school and an education?

I look back at all this, and all I can feel is sorrow and nothingness. I don't feel sympathetic, just full of pain that life is hard enough; life is a living hell and yet life is worth living -- so please give my sister's boyfriend's mother a chance, give my neighbour a chance, give my dad a chance to enjoy his family and to give Tim the peace he so deserves in Heaven.

God if you're up there, please make sense of everything.

I'll write while I dream.

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 22:32:08 GMT

I would like to define, once and for all, Canadian liberalism and understand its function beyond the old deferred promises of a just society; liberalism cannot cling onto big government, large social projects or token interests. There ought to be a larger narrative, a civil religion.

I heard my parents disapproval of me in private.

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 06:16:49 GMT

A dichotomy; for I am a free soul yet a pragmatic thinker, for there are a set of personal circumstances in a contradictory cultural context, and I am stuck in the middle: the bloodied canary, barely flying in the coal mine.

I've let my head guide me before and I've let down my heart. I keep on deferring dreams, I keep on hoping sacrifices will yield something significant, I keep on waiting for my hunger for life to be satiated, I keep on excusing personal defeats, I keep on letting them take a mile when I offer a reluctant inch, I keep my myths hidden so life can maul on; I keep on, because that is all I can do.

A little advice, a shoulder to cry on, massive arms to hide in, a home, a gut feeling -- in absence of all these, I'll keep on, because that is all I know how to do.

I'm no Zola, but I say shame.

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:04:44 GMT

I've been watching this, and I'm the worst debater and I can never back myself up because I don't believe in confusing people with rhetoric or using political or social norms as acceptable reasons to oppose China. But when people disapprove of the protestors at the Olympic Torch relays -- ironically called the Journey of Harmony -- I shake my head in shame.

One Chinese national said "This is not the right venue for such protests." But when is it a 'right' venue? Certainly wasn't in June 4th, 1989 in Tiananmen Square when Chinese tanks bulldozed pro-democracy students in Beijing. Certainly wasn't in Tibet a few weeks ago when Chinese tanks shut down Lhasa. If not now, when? Certainly wasn't for the monks in Burma whose Saffron Revolution died an embarrassing death by the military junta. I say shame on the growing complacency in the world.

Another Olympic enthusiast said: "The Olympics is not the place for politics." This was concurred by the IOC head, Jacques Rogge: "On the contrary, it is penalizing innocent athletes and it is stopping the organization from something that definitely is worthwhile organizing." But how is supporting the Beijing Olympics different from supporting the same regime that has committed cultural genocide, not only in Tibet, but parts of Xinjiang and Inner Mongolia? As Buddhist nuns and monks are being imprisoned and 're-educated' by the Communist regime, we have the audacity to turn away and claim division of diplomatic support from political support. I say shame as we passively condone the affrontation of simple, basic human rights.

And Nancy Pelosi, oh your only crime is that you are an American woman who uttered: "If freedom-loving people throughout the world do not speak out against China's oppression in Tibet, we have lost our moral authority to speak on behalf of human rights anywhere in the world." If you were from any other country not affiliated with Gitmo, with Iraq, with Afghanistan, if you were any other politician from any other freedom-loving Western nation, you would be cheered and lauded. But to those who ignore the Communist boot in the face of every Chinese citizen -- whether they be the Uighurs, Tibetans, Mongolians, ethnic Manchurians, even the Han who dare defy the doublethink of this Orweillan regime -- and instead rely on the moral hypocrisy of Americans as a good enough reason to let the boot continue stomping, I say shame: we cannot equate what we perceive as our moral hypocrisy to paralyze our collective desire and responsibility for equality.

I say shame as the Olympics unfold with bombast and well-deserved euphoria from the honourable athletes; I say shame as Beijing reaps the benefits of ignorant tourists worldwide; I say shame as the Communist government continues to strengthen its hold with the propaganda of success; I say shame as freedom-loving people around the world criticize the West's moral hypocrisy as they jealously guard their own rights; I say shame as the Tibetans flounder in the fog of tyranny. I say shame as the boot continues stomping.

I think my life is passing me by.

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 03:26:21 GMT

I'm indecisive. I'm idealistic. I'm questioning. I'm dreaming. I'm wondering. But most of all, I'm worrying. I'm worrying my life away. I'm worrying all the dreams away. I'm worrying the laughs, the friends into the distance. I can't wake up without looking at myself in the mirror and thinking negative adjectives to attach to my name. I'm almost existing; most definitely not living.

I let minor setbacks drag me into absolute mediocrity where I treat everything with extreme caution so I don't hurt anymore. I still think of Fall 2006 because moving on is something I've never had to do. I remember the sacrifice I made in the Spring of 2007 and realize it's a sacrifice too heavy for me to bear. My ego is too large, still.

Sometimes all I need is something tangible to hold onto. Not school nor friends provide me that. I'm adrift.

There's always ten more people smarter than you.

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 20:57:28 GMT

So I talk for the sake of talking, and I write for the sake of writing. I don't think I do anything with any purpose: I'm aiming for nothing, my goals are filler and I'd just rather hide home than adbust-greenpeace-hillblaze my way to some sort of relative top. On top of that, I'm feeling extremely lonely these days with only Madame Bovary readings and 15 centimetres of snow to comfort me. I don't think I'm complaining, just merely stating some facts.

There are a few things that have been bothering me every time I read The Economist or the Star, however:

Where's Obama's platform? I hear of Hillary Clinton's medicare plan, her education reforms and her economic goals. All I hear from Obama is that "I am always the underdog", followed by some haughty, arrogant jargon about hopes and dreams. Nice, but weak.
Stéphane Dion -- you are still the leader of the opposition right? I haven't heard your opposition loudly or clearly enough on anything: the Afghanistan debacle, the slanderous mistakes of the Conservative staffers or the fact not one Conservative in the caucus probably took an economics course.
Africentric schools are not the solution to higher-than-others dropout rates. We live in the year 2008. Martin Luther King is spinning in his grave as Toronto approves such a simplified and thoughtless conclusion. There are other reasons for those rates -- like maybe that quite a number of black families are raised by single-parent families -- and that segregating young, ambitious, black students will only perpetuate defeatist stereotypes and trap them into a cycle of ghetto-ization.
I don't mind the snow, but we live in Canada, and you'd think the municipal government would, therefore, plow. Oh right, governments aren't into the pothole business.

These next two weeks are going to be empty: I'm not sure whether to use the time to study (a bit too early, I won't retain anything), shop (I really have no business spending money) or start firing off those résumés (the weeks after this nice break are going to be busy). Oh, what the hell, I'll just hide in my house.